Even Pastor’s Wives Don’t Get It Right Sometimes

I’m gonna tell you something that might shock you. Are you ready?

Sometimes I don’t listen when God speaks to me.

I’ll let that sink in for a minute. Yes even a pastor’s wife- who is in full time ministry, who leads praise and worship, who teaches Bible School, who counsels people, and I could go on and on- doesn’t get it right sometimes!

This morning I woke up early. 6:30am. Which I know isn’t early for some of you, but it’s summer and I get to go into the office a little later, plus I went to bed really late the night before. So back to my story.

6:30am, I wake up. And I’m talking wide awake, bright eyed and bushy tailed, could’ve gotten up and taken on the whole world kind of waking up. I looked at my phone to see what time it was and saw how early it was. I didn’t feel like I needed to go back to sleep so contemplated just getting up and starting my day. Then I heard that still small voice saying, “Go downstairs and pray for a little while.”

And guess what? I didn’t. I laid in bed, and didn’t even go back to sleep, but just laid there and thought about nothing for at least an hour.

It hit me about 15 hours later. After I had a stressful day. After I felt completely overwhelmed and a bit panicky at everything I still needed to accomplish. After I almost had a nervous breakdown. After I got mad at my kids. After I felt like an utter failure. Hmmmm maybe I should’ve gotten up and prayed this morning.

I’m not saying anything would’ve been different if I had, but I’m pretty sure I would’ve been able to handle it better. My heavenly Father was trying to prepare me for what was coming and I like a dummy didn’t listen.

Lamentations 3:22-23 in the Message Bible says-

^22-23God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!

Thankfully I get a do over tomorrow. So I’m not gonna beat myself up over it, I’m just gonna get it right next time.And you better believe when He speaks, I’m am going to listen and obey!

Oops I Did It Again……..

Can I be honest and tell you I really don’t like making mistakes? I’m okay with innocently not doing something right. Like every time I cook rice, and I think I’m following the directions to the t and it STILL doesn’t turn out right.  Or when I bought my teenager a cool shirt, that she hated intensely disliked. Even a big mistake that is unavoidable is alright with me.

But when it’s a rookie mistake, that’s when I beat myself up. Our tenants water getting shut off, because I just completely forgot to pay the bill. Or when not checking my son’s back pack the night before resulted in sending him to school with an empty sharing bag. (parents of preschoolers might know what that is) Missing my dentist appointment. Things that could have been so easily avoided if I was just a little bit more organized.

Today I realized I had booked a guest speaker at our church for a specific date, then planned everything, including non-refundable hotel reservations for a completely different weekend. I got so upset with myself thinking if I had just checked the calendar one more time before I planned anything, I wouldn’t have made that mistake. If I had purchased the cancellation insurance I could have gotten a refund for the hotel. If I hadn’t been so sure of myself, I wouldn’t have to reschedule an entire weekend of events that had already been advertised. And on, and on and on….

But, you know what they say,

There’s no use crying over spilt milk. Clean it up and pour another glass. Well actually “they” only say the first part, I just added the rest.

In the midst of my self- degradation, I thought of the verse in 1 John 1:9 that  tells us If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Regardless of whether the mistakes we may make in our lives are big or small, isn’t it good to know that we can confess, repent and be made clean? So that’s exactly what I did!

P.S. If you’re wondering how everything worked out with today’s faux paus, I called and spoke to a very nice representative who refunded my non-refundable, hotel reservations. My assistant hadn’t yet printed this week’s church bulletin so was able to change the dates. And the actual weekend that our guest is coming works out even better than the one I planned everything on. Makes me think of where it says in Lamentations that His mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness!